What’s the matter with your eyes? I had a horse once, lost his sight. He had the same heedful walk you do.
— “Godless,” episode two
We’re in the middle of a house dance. The old home is sold, the new home is nearly complete and in the meantime we’re in a “layover” apartment. It’s a dance that started in earnest in 2015 when we decided we needed to 1) move closer to Seattle and 2) move to a more walkable, more urban environment.
Early in 2015, we had the old home inspected to see what we needed tackle before putting it on the market. Everything was sound, but there were a few items of “deferred maintenance” that needed addressing – like dinged up rounded corners on drywall and upstairs wall-to-wall carpeting that really had served beyond its intended lifespan.
That phrase – “deferred maintenance” – stuck with me and I don’t want to let that happen again in the new home or… with my own health.
As a software engineer, I sit a lot. A whole lot. And while I used to be a gym rat, that really hasn’t been the case in more than a decade. And while I’m not at my heaviest weight by any means, my BMI still places me in the obese category and my legs and core are super weak.
I’ve “deferred maintenance” on my own health, and it is past time to stop doing that.
The exercise was simple – take a few minutes to write down hopes and fears on post-it notes, one per post-it.
At the end of it, I had written on six post-its. And only one was a hope. Looks like the “fear encrusted neurons” are still at it.
Speaking of writing things down, maybe this is one of the reasons writing down things you’re grateful for is supposed to be a good exercise. Maybe it is supposed to help orient your mind toward hopeful things and away from ruminating on the dark.
Maybe if I do more of that, it will make it easier to say “Fuck it. Eat Pizza.”
“The greatest regret I have is that, early in my career, I showed myself such cruelty for not having accomplished anything significant.”
Matthew Weiner, creator of Mad Men ( link )
It’s how I once felt about London; still feel about it when I get past the Thatcherization, the wannabe-American ‘build-a-minimall fill-it-with-chain-stores’ ethic that has wrecked so many of the city’s hamlets and high streets.’
Finding North, George Michelsen Foy
It make me frustrated too to travel thousands of miles to faraway places just to find the same things I left behind. But, that said, in a pinch a Starbucks often helps me regain my bearings. C’est la vie.
April 2, 2016 – a bone from the forearm of St. Jude is in the silver case in the foreground as communion is prepared. A first class relic, touching our wedding bands to the relic means they are now 3rd class relics. At St. Michael the Archangel in Snohomish, Washington.